


Run (to me, I love you)

by letsmakeitforever



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad, The Author Regrets Everything, triggering, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:17:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsmakeitforever/pseuds/letsmakeitforever
Summary: yeah uh just a sad jongin who has junmyeon who might be in love with himTRIGGERING





	Run (to me, I love you)

Everyday he woke up. 

 

It would be a good day today. 

 

Except the managers yelled. Yelled at him for failing a 'simple' dance move.  _He wasn't good enough._

And so he ran. After the practice was over, (  _what a horrible piece of work you are, Jongin. Do better_ ) he ran to the bathroom and cut his hips with the blade he had concealed in his bag. He watched the blood drip down and off his legs, quietly, oh so quietly because he can't be too loud, can't disturb people, can't, can't.  _Maybe tomorrow will be better._

 

Today would be a good day. 

 

It wasn't. Chanyeol and Baekhyun fought for the first time.  _Stay out of this, Jongin, you're no good._

And he ran. Again. Ran to his room this time to cut. To lash at himself for his mistakes. And he missed the sad eyes following him. The ones begging him to stay and be okay.  _Tomorrow would be better._

 

It would be a good day today. 

 

Lies. He knew it. Knew the second he entered the kitchen and saw Kyungsoo's scowl. And knew when Kyungsoo yelled and screamed at him for breaking his coffee maker (  _What are you talking about? I wasn't down here, I was asleep._ ). And so he ran. Back to his room, back to the blade's comfort. And watched the blood fall down his leg (  _like rain, but red_ ). And he didn't notice, didn't notice the person who watched him,  _saw_ him wither and wilt (  _like a dying flower_ )  _Tomorrow would be good._

 

Today is going to be a good day, I've had enough bad days right? 

 

Wrong. 

 

Sehun got mad at him for 'not dancing well enough'.  _Why are you the main dancer, Jongin? You're worthless_

And so it was time to run. Run to the bathroom, to his blade. He didn't. Junmyeon stopped him, forced him to finish.  _Tonight, tonight I'll end things_

 

And so he that's how he ended up here. Staring at his legs, cut up and scarred. The blade was in his hands.  _Just one or two cuts, deep. Then life will be over, you don't have to ruin anything anymore._ He brought the blade down. 

 

He was stopped. Someone else had entered his room. 

 

_Jongin? Jongin why?_

 

And he collapsed. Crying and screaming about how it wasn't  _fair._ He just wanted to die, stop burdening people, stop wasting space, stop annoying, stop holding them down,  _stop everything_  

 

Junmyeon caught him. Held him and told him it was okay, that he didn't burden anybody. Told him he saw how Jongin was breaking, that he was sorry, oh so sorry for not doing anything until now. Told him he loved him. 

 

Tomorrow would be better. 

 

Today would be a good day. 

 

It was. He had Junmyeon, Junmyeon who would fight anybody who hurt Jongin,  _his precious, amazing, perfect Jongin._ They told everyone everything. About Jongin's self harm, depression, sadness, self-hatred, suicide, and their relationship, how Junmyeon had laid with him in bed, whispering  _you'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. I love you, Jongin. Be mine?_

 

Today had been good. 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it was so short. also yes, Junmyeon is the one watching him with sad eyes and stuff haha. anyway it would be great if you read my other stories? or left a comment? yeah thanks if you finished. and yeah some of this is based off of my life except I haven't found my happy ending, I write angst for a reason y'all


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